Freedom reigns in this place.

Things have been pretty good. It’s hard to say good because I’ve seen a lot of brokenness and hurt the past two days, but, I’ve enjoyed being able to spend time with these kids and adults, if that makes sense. I’ve spent a majority of my time in the orphanage.. it’s hard to watch how the children are cared for, but, as Francie reminded me, it’s better than the alternative, and that is 100% true. These kids have food in their bellies and a bed to sleep in every day/night. It’s just hard not to compare to the American way of caring for children, but, I suppose there are a great number of children who would probably be cared for better in this orphanage than in some American homes as well.. There is a definite language barrier with some of the older children, but, I try my best. (And being able to pick them up and play with them helps cross that). I forgot to mention there is one mentally handicapped child at Angel’s Home, Cubi. He is a pretty funny little guy; his stim is throwing items on roofs, which is unfortunate since they already have a lack of items.. as you look up you see shoes, food, toys, and some clothes are stranded on the tops of the roofs.. I will give my little spiel about life regarding the orphanage after I tell you about the rest of my past two days.

Sadly, upon returning home after lunch on Monday, I found that a large amount of money was stolen from me at the orphanage. I’m thankful they left my camera and passport and things though. I thought it would be safe to keep my bag in the babies room, hanging on a hook, but I guess not. Francie was very distraught upon hearing this because she never keeps track of her money supposedly, so I really hope they haven’t stolen from her considering how much she’s given them. We spoke w/ the only English-speaking nun there and she reported back that there has sadly been an issue with this but they can’t figure out which matron it is :\ But, it’s alright. Hopefully they needed that money and won’t use it for negative purposes.

The 4^th German volunteer came back with his family members, so, that has been nice to get to know them all—although the entire group is German, they all speak pretty good English.. they try their best to communicate in English, but, often revert back to their native tongue. I am perfectly okay with it though, it’s nice just to have company : ) I’ve been really testing my taste buds/texture problem here in Rulenge! I’ve been eating cooked vegetables like it’s my job, and not even the ones I like! I also had a tomato salad today, made by Severin’s family, which was absolutely delicious. No, this does not mean I’ll try ketchup upon returning home, but, maybe I will be a little more adventurous with veggies!

Today Marcel took me to the Hosptial; We toured and then went to the CTC (clinic and treatment control) where he works. CTC is for HIV/AIDS patients. Marcel tested many while I was there this morning, thankfully all were negative. After that, many men, women, and children came for the free clinic there. They were weighed and measured and had a discussion about further treatment and helpful tips for living with HIV/AIDS. It was definitely sad and difficult, but I’m proud of the hospital for offering so many free things for these people—it helps spread awareness and there is no fear of payment for being tested.

Tomorrow I will be up at 6 AM to go to the Missionaries of Charity for the day, a priest here says mass at 6:30 (IN ENGLISH! YAAAAY!) and then I will help them probably until lunch. To say I’m excited would be a major understatement.

To try and sum up my experiences here in a short blog is almost impossible. But, today, an analogy struck me whilst playing with the children. I don’t believe there is a name for it.. but, when you pick up a child and spin them around and around and around until you’re both dizzy? Well, I did that with many of the older children in the orphanage the past two days, and what hit me most was the way Cubi reacted to it. Every.single.time he would close his eyes and get the most peaceful look on his face, like all was right in the world for those 20 seconds. In the movie, Uptown Girls, the babysitter takes the child to the place she escaped her fears and troubles most often:  the tea cups at Coney Island—it was easy for her to experience the euphoria of the spinning rather than focusing on the painful circumstances in front of her. I don’t know what Cubi was thinking, or even if he was thinking at all. But, maybe that is the beauty I saw in it. For that moment, he was free. Free of not only the poor conditions of the orphanage and the crappy same food day in and day out, but free from his mind, from being entrapped in a place where you can’t explain yourself to anyone or properly express emotions, free from being different and out casted. As I mentioned in my earlier blogs, I’m not doing anything fantastic here, probably not even succeeding in the American terminology.. But, these past two days, I’ve given Cubi (and some of the other children) 20 seconds of freedom.. and several times at that.  What joy I encountered through them. It made me ponder what aspects of my life do I need to be spun out of? What areas make me so upset, sad, uncomfortable that I need to be free of them, even if only for a little? One of my best friends, Christine, knows just about everything about me, and once suggested that I am a runner. Ha, no, not by physical movement, but with my emotions. I run from others before I get hurt because it’s happened too often. Since she’s said that, I’ve tried my best not to run. I’ve also established friendships where their patience with my unsteady heart is incredible. But, when those circumstances arrive, I’ve tried to stay still, in the moment and in the hurt, to grasp the reality of the situation and improve myself from it. But, I can fully admit that I ran here to Africa. I bolted actually. I ran to the desire of serving the Church and away from the frightening reality of graduating college and not having a clue what I really want to be. I ran here and I truly believe it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. I know myself better than I ever have and I know what aspects of my life need picked up and spun for 20 seconds until I get a better grip and upon returning to America, I want to be sure I apply this lesson that Cubi so graciously taught me. Life sucks sometimes and we can’t control the hand we’re dealt, but, if we can take just that 20 seconds, to regroup and find joy amidst the struggle, we just might be alright.

Amani Salama [Keep the peace/Have peace/Remain in peace]